Sookie is a B*tch

Well it's quite obvious she is a bitch, but in her case I have decided it is both literal and figurative. I do love her and while in most cases she is coddled like a child there are some personality traits of hers that I want to break like a bad habit.

Sookie will bark at me to go outside and then once she is there she will bark to come inside (I mean in a matter of seconds) I open the door and she runs away. If that doesn't scream bitch well I don't know what does. I now play a new game with her I hold out cheese until she runs in the house then I walk back to the fridge and put it back... I can be a bitch too.

I will feed her her breakfast and then I sit down to eat hers. Whether or not hers is consumed in it's entirety she will started barking at me for eating, sometimes she even becomes daring enough to try to stick her nose onto my plate.  This makes her a F-ing Bitch if I ever heard a reason.  While I have yet to institute my plan of revenge for this tidbit I do think it will put me back in Queen Bitch Status. From now on when she eats I will bark at her and start sticking me nose in her food, I may even stick my hand in and slop it against the wall for good measure just because I know it's something Sookie can't do! Yes the title of Queen Bitch is mine!

The final reason why she's a bitch. While she and I are home together she has plenty of love and affection for me. As soon as her Daddy gets home she abandons me and will move whatever is in her path to get on Daddy's lap, this includes her 18 year old feline brother. Total attention whore and bitch move right there (he encourages this behavior) grrr. So going forward I will now remove her and crowd his lap while snapping epithets about how I'm his best girl and she's losing her touch. Childish I know but I am sure it will get the job done.

While there are countless other things that she does throughout the day to earn her title these are definitely the top three. I am sure I can find equally childish and bitchy moves to combat all her behavior. Hey Sookie two can play this game...