Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sookie versus the Neighbor...

As I may have mentioned before Sookie is all Bark and no bite. Literally this dog is a wimp. She is the the most timid dog I have ever met and a doberman to boot. Most people look at her and can tell she is a wimp although there is the occasional person who just assumes she is a vicious beast because of her breed. Vicious is a hilariously way to describe the dog who is more likely to annoy or lick you to death then maul you. Sookie however does have a couple of arch nemesis' in the neighborhood. Thankfully for Sookies sake she has always been separated by a fence or window otherwise she is likely to get her little red behind handed to her by the collie next door.

Sookies first enemy is the greyhound lady. The greyhound lady is a pompous old woman who walks around the neighborhood with her two rescue greyhounds which act equally as pompous. The woman has the mistaken idea that her arrogant dogs would be afraid of Sookie who is literally half their size. The woman looked at Sookie once when she was no bigger than one of the cats and said "Oh you keep that dog away from my greyhounds they are rescues and they are scared." Seriously I swear she said this. Sookie has never gotten out and never come close to the lunatics dogs but to this day the ignorant old bag literally crosses the street to stay away from our house. While we often discourage Sookie from barking at the neighbors she is the one exception. When ever greyhound lady and her dogs come around I purposely get the dog worked up and to the window to bark at the psychotic bitch and her dogs. It makes my day every time to see the woman scurry with the dogs in toe as fast as she can to the next street. So maybe greyhound lady is less Sookies arch nemesis and more mine. So what? We both get satisfaction out watching her frighten the woman by her mere presence in this world!

Sookies next enemy are the two dogs behind us. They are her true arch enemies. One is some sort of boxer, pit mix and the other is a St. Bernard mix. The dog is a beast and is huge. He literally could swallow Sookie whole. No lie the dog must be at least 200 pounds my dog weighs 50. Its not even a match. Yet Sookie in all her wisdom thinks that is the dog to F with in the neighborhood. No she can't go after the little Collie she wants a piece of the St Bernard. Seriously she only barks at the greyhounds when I push her to but if the beast is outside she senses him immediately and goes crazy. Needless to say having both dogs out in the yards at the same time is a nightmare of astronomical proportions.  While the beast lumbers back and forth guarding his territory Sookie squeezes her little body into a corner of the shared fence and lets loose with her most vicious bark she can muster. Granted it sounds frightening but again if she was face to face with the beast she would drop her stub of a tail and cower. The major issue with the match up between the beast and miss red devil herself is the fact that our fence is old. It's warped and its slowly rotting and one of these days miss all bark is really going to find herself face to face with a dog that weighs more than almost every member of this household, and honestly she is on her own in that show down. If it happens I am in the house and leaving her by herself. I am not throwing down with a 200 pound plus dog with a jaw as large as my head. F that. Sorry Sookie you will be out classed, out weighed and out barked and I will be enjoying a latte from the couch, but on the bright side I have been taking her to the bark park to try to improve her social skills.....It's not working.

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