Sookie and the Leaky Pee Pee

Sookie has this neurotic doberman trait where she licks incessantly. Sometimes this means she is licking herself and others it means she is licking the couch or the bed or wherever else she has parked her butt for the night. So often it would be normal to wake up in the middle of the night to hear the the sloppy sounds of her licking and to feel a wet spot from where she has marked her territory in saliva.

So imagine my surprise when one morning I wake up to not a small little saliva puddle but a gigantic unidentifiable puddle. After some investigation I determined it was in fact Urine. Now this was a few months ago. I investigated further watched the dog saw no signs of pain or infection and wrote it off to she had a weird nightmare and then months went buy and nothing similar occurred. Then Last Month it happened twice...

Then this month it was happening twice in one night and I was sure worried and now completely sick of washing my bedding daily!!

So I made an appointment with the Vet. They told me get a urine sample. Hmmm how do you do that. The advise of the tech follow her with a pie tin.  Interesting... I followed her with a Tupperware around the backyard trying to slyly collect her leaky pee pee that may solve this urinary mystery.

So Sookie went to squat and I through the plastic underneath and I collected her pee like no bodies business. Yes I do what needs to be done.

So we went to the vet the urine was tested and her temperature was taken (so not a fun thing to watch your dog get a rectal thermometer!) and sure enough no infection. Sookie just has a leaky pee pee. The short story is my not even 4 year old dobie is having old lady issues because she lacks a uterus. In her sleep she leaks pee and doesn't even know!

Great so now she's on pills that create a whole other world of problems for my baby girl!

So the mystery is not quite solve and Sookie may continue to have a leaky pee pee... So please send diapers!

Sookie is a B*tch

Well it's quite obvious she is a bitch, but in her case I have decided it is both literal and figurative. I do love her and while in most cases she is coddled like a child there are some personality traits of hers that I want to break like a bad habit.

Sookie will bark at me to go outside and then once she is there she will bark to come inside (I mean in a matter of seconds) I open the door and she runs away. If that doesn't scream bitch well I don't know what does. I now play a new game with her I hold out cheese until she runs in the house then I walk back to the fridge and put it back... I can be a bitch too.

I will feed her her breakfast and then I sit down to eat hers. Whether or not hers is consumed in it's entirety she will started barking at me for eating, sometimes she even becomes daring enough to try to stick her nose onto my plate.  This makes her a F-ing Bitch if I ever heard a reason.  While I have yet to institute my plan of revenge for this tidbit I do think it will put me back in Queen Bitch Status. From now on when she eats I will bark at her and start sticking me nose in her food, I may even stick my hand in and slop it against the wall for good measure just because I know it's something Sookie can't do! Yes the title of Queen Bitch is mine!

The final reason why she's a bitch. While she and I are home together she has plenty of love and affection for me. As soon as her Daddy gets home she abandons me and will move whatever is in her path to get on Daddy's lap, this includes her 18 year old feline brother. Total attention whore and bitch move right there (he encourages this behavior) grrr. So going forward I will now remove her and crowd his lap while snapping epithets about how I'm his best girl and she's losing her touch. Childish I know but I am sure it will get the job done.

While there are countless other things that she does throughout the day to earn her title these are definitely the top three. I am sure I can find equally childish and bitchy moves to combat all her behavior. Hey Sookie two can play this game...

Sookie and the incredible case of gas.

Sookie has just been lovely lately. That's an outright lie; however she has been pretty good. Except for her bouts of uncontrollable gas. Recently we invested in a new King sized bed as Sookie needed more room. Yes folks this dog rules the roost. She needed more room in bed so she got a brand new ultra plush king sized bed. Don't we all wish we were that spoiled. Sookie being the incredibly amazing dog that she is takes over right away. She gets into her new bed gets comfortable and gets under the covers and then just starts farting. Non stop one right after the other. I swear I was living in a dump with the amount of methane that was coming out of that dogs butt. It just wasn't natural. Now if you have read my earlier posts you know my dog is on a bland bland diet. She eats rice and lean meats some occasional eggs and cheese. I can only imagine that what little amount of eggs go into her body come out in uncontrollable farts. The funny thing about this situation (no folks not the smell there is nothing funny about that) is that fact that she is completely self aware of her flatulence. After the night of a thousand farts I tried desperately to space out any eggs she ate far far away from bed time, and it's somehow managed to at least stop a full night of methylated inhalation however it hasn't stopped her farts completely. About a week ago she jumps up on to the couch in her normal position which is but in my face and her face looking out the window. She is watching the neighbors intently when she decides to let one go right in my face (this is where the self awareness comes in). So immediately perks up her ears looks back at my face with this 'oops did I do that look' looks guiltily down at the ground and hops of the couch and runs away. OK so maybe that incident alone does make her aware of the havoc her smell little butt causes but then later that night sitting in bed she again blows a fart looks up at me again with an 'oops' face and then gets up to vacate her stink. The dog has to know she is punishing me with her smell. So I have cut back on eggs and am praying for some doggie gas-x to come on the market but until then I just grin and laugh at my smelly dog!

Sookie speaks another language...

Before you even say well duh. Not well duh. My cat comes up to me and says "Meow Meow" and I know immediately he is hungry. He comes and says "Meow Meow Meow" he means please pick me up and carry my old ass. Sookie has one bark that she uses for everything. Sometimes she will throw in a random hop into the mix. Basically the cat's language and Sookie's is the difference between someone speaking English and Spanish...and well as much as I have tried I just don't speak Spanish. So if Sookie Barks I try to take her out or feed her. Half the time I end up correct. The other half of the time she looks at me like Mommy why don't you understand what I am trying to tell you. It breaks my heart. I want to be able to speak her language and know what it is she wants went she is incessantly barking in my face. Not just because of the headache I am getting. I really do want to form that immediate communication that I have with the cat. Sookie however is complicated. This unknown request has become more insistent over the last week as her area to run and play has been demolished by 2 plus feet of snow. She hates the snow as you all may have previously read. Now however its more difficult because there is only one small area of the yard where the snow isn't literally over her head. This has made everything more difficult... Well not everything lets just say that she has no desire to swim through the snow to attack her Arch-Nemesis at the fence behind us. Now if I could only figure out a deterrent the rest of the year.

So basically I am left with a dog who is trying to talk to me in Spanish and I trying to communicate in English and we are both just left shaking are heads saying "What the hell just happened?"

Sookie and the snowstorm...

Sookie is special. Currently she is curled up on the couch obsessively licking herself (an apparent neurotic doberman trait). Yesterday and Today were trying for her. She has been mixed with excitment and neurosis that goes beyond her normal little mix of crazy. She will stop in front of me and bark her insessant high pitch bark but as soon as I go to take her out she realized her mistake and runs off to pretend to sleep. Ah snow storms stirring a mix of a emotion in the already overly stimulated puppy.

Yesterday when it started to snow I got her out of the house as quickly as possible to give her one last chance to go to the bathroom undisturbed by piles of white flullyness. She obliged but knew then her time was limited. It's interesting to watch her in this weather. She has an utterly adorable sense of curiousity mixed with extreme terror. It's really cute.

Today was tougher as the weather this morning was truly bad. Her normal urge to stick her head into the wind was certainly crushed by the bitter cold and wet that came with it. She hopped around trying to keep her body from touching any snow as she quickly tried to find places with less snow to do her business. Each time it was just taking to long before her little body started to shiver as the cold and wet set in. I feel bad for her; however I have tried to placate the dog with boots and sweaters time and time again and she just refuses to wear them. So instead Sookie suffers through the weather. She takes quick trips to pee outside while holding her poop and instead gassing up the house. God I want the snow gone for both our sakes. Every time I get up and go to the door she has this look of utter panic. Only superseded by her look of utter excitement as she watches the neighbors out the window dealing with the utter mess of white clogging up the neighborhood. Sookie is odd, but sookie is also going to have a long long winter if she doesn't get over it. I

NOT a Snow Dog.

Sookie would be most happy in a mild climate. I think she is meant to be a beach dog; however Sookie lives in Connecticut. So instead she gets humidity and snow. Like me she seems to thoroughly dislike both. I always feel like I have to remind everyone that I love this dog before I start complaining about her, but again I love her. She makes every day an adventure!

It snowed on Monday night which started an epidemic for this dog. I tried to take her out to go to the bathroom on Monday night. There was already a little snow on the ground and even getting the dog out of the house was a bit of a challenge. I managed to get the dog outside without carrying her or dragging her so it felt like a victory already! We walked around the yard a bit and it really seemed like she was going to go. She started to get down into squat formation and slowly lowered her butt to the ground, as soon as she felt the slightest bit of cold she decided she didn't need to go anymore popped up and ran us both into the house. I got up the next morning brought her outside thinking for sure she would go even in the snow as she hadn't been since around 5pm the previous day. Again she walked began to squat and decided peeing was not worth the cold in such close proximity to her private area. So we went back inside. I went to work and proceeded to pontificate on the state of the doggie bathroom affairs. I worried myself silly that the neurotic pup would add to her already long list of issues by giving herself an infection. So I rushed home at lunch as soon as I could to get the dog outside hoping that she didn't have an accident in the crate. (she hates those almost as much as I do!) She hadn't gone so I rushed her outside and finally the urge was to much and she went. Phew disaster averted. Sort of. So Tuesday night she refuse to go. She wakes me up at 2am drags me outside quickly goes and runs back in the house to bed. Refuses to go when I get up for work and then refuses at lunch. Refuses before bed and then gets me up at midnight last night. Again doesn't go this morning but did go at lunch. Ok I am sure everyone is like I don't care about your dogs bathroom habits. I get it I get it, but I am exhausted annoyed that its cold outside and feeling really gross myself now. I get it. It's cold. I personally wouldn't want to be squatting outside in the snow either. Seriously if I were her I probably would have gone in the garage or anywhere else but the snowy ground. This only proves that the dog is better behaved and more of a lady than myself (another reason I love her!).

So anyway. This was a pretty mild snow I can only imagine the winter is going to get worse for us both....any suggestions?

Sookie has a list of dislikes.

If I hadn't mentioned it before Sookie has issues. She is a timid creature who is for all intents and purposes a clingy animal. When I am home she follows me around she sleeps in bed with me and she is pretty much sitting on my lap unless she is eating. She is a 50 pound lap dog. She is a 50 pound lap dog who runs the show and makes the rules. This week I discovered a couple of ways to push her buttons.This dog can actually be driven more crazy than her normal neurotic self.

The first discovery was that Sookie absolutely positively does not like raspberries. I don't mean the fruit I mean when you blow on someone and make that obnoxious fart noise. This was an interesting discovery to say the least.I blew on her made the noise and she freaked. I mean I have never seen this dog so frightened in her life. Well at least until this morning. She literally ran and hid from me. The dog who is constantly on me suddenly was afraid to be in the same room as me because I made a fart noise on her head. Does this seem odd to anyone else. At first I thought it was a game I blew on her she jumped up and ran then came back and we did it again until literally she would not be in the same room with me. I wonder if this works at bedtime??

OK so this morning I decided I was going to try walking her. I hate walked her with her normal collar because my wrists are week from my surgeries in April and it's hard to take the control I need to show her who's boss. I have a training collar that I haven't used in months because I feel awful every time I put it on her. It's metal and has rivets so that if the dog tries to run or pull you the push into the skin so the dog will stop. I hate this collar but I want the dog to be able to go for walks. I pulled the collar out of the closet and mind you the last time this was on her was seriously at least a year ago, I looked at her and she looked at me with the collar in hand and she turned into a quivering mass of Sookie. She stood there and shook as I held it in my hands. She got very submissive and put her tail down, nose pointed to the ground and just shook. I felt absolutely horrible. I watched the dog go from carefree and happy to a pile of nerves in less than a second. It was horrific to watch. I felt so awful. I quickly hid the collar away and yet she still stood there a quivering mass. I hugged her and gave her kisses and apologized profusely for turning her into a hot mess. She didn't seem to care for my apologies so I attempted to walk her with her regular collar. We got to the corner and had to turn around. Walks are apparently out of the question. She tried to run after a car with me still attached to her.

I love this dog if it isn't evident from my stories. I hated the way she reacted to the collar and want to be able to walk her and have it be enjoyable for both of us. So if anyone has any suggestions please share them. I will also make a mental note Sookie hates her metal collar, and raspberries. I will add that to the list that includes the beast dog behind us and stupid greyhound lady.